Having learned my lessons about blogging about my job, I none the less am going to go on a bit of a rant without getting into specifics. Thusly, it allows me to vent without getting myself, nor anyone else, into trouble.

Today, I had a bad day. I don’t know if anyone else at my work noticed, but it was a bad day. If I did my job right, hopefully very few people noticed how truly awful of a day I had. But it doesn’t change the fact that in six years of working in that building, I truly feel like today was the worst.

This week I’m giving training. Of all the things I do in my job, giving training is the one I enjoy the most. I enjoy it so much that I could actually do it full time if given the right opportunity and the right money. But since my job is more of a technical nature, I don’t get the chance to give training as much as I used to. So when the chance comes up, I jump at it because not only do I enjoy so much, it happens to be something I am extremely good at.

I’m not one to talk myself up, but I know that this is a skill I am really good at as I have heard it said to me over and over again. It’s one of the things I just know I am good at and happen to love doing. Despite being good at something, and really enjoying something, we all have days where it just feels like no matter what you do, nothing is going right. It’s kind of been like that this week with my training. I had put a lot of time and effort into building the right type of training environment to try and reduce any “technical difficulties” but it seems that despite that, I encountered far more than I wanted to see. And it wasn’t just in the technical areas that trouble surfaced.

Even the best teacher can struggle to give a good training class when the tools provided are not adequate enough to provide a quality training session. The last time I did this particular type of training, I was using a different, how best to describe it while being vague at the same time, “toolbox”. Let’s just say that for this class, I’m using a toolbox which has all the tools and materials for building a kitchen table. The toolbox I had the last time worked very well. All the tools were there, batteries were charged, and seemed relatively new. The “drill” got stuck a few times, but it always worked exactly as it was supposed to after banging on it a little bit. In general, that toolbox worked really good but it wasn’t a toolbox we owned. It was one we were sort of borrowing.

This time around, I’m using a different toolbox. A custom made toolbox specific for the type of job I’m training folks on. The toolbox has basically the same tools but made by a different company. This time around, the drill I got to use is made specifically for the exact job I am doing, unlike the previous drill. You would think that this would make it a better tool. When the drill works, it works fantastic. FAR better than the one from the old toolbox. But when it doesn’t work, there’s no manual to tell me why it stopped working, there’s no display or lights or anything on the drill to tell me there’s a problem. It just doesn’t drill anything. I stand there, scratching my head, trying to understand why this doesn’t work. I flip a bunch of switches, turn some knobs, maybe even unplug the drill and plug it back in again and pray that a combination of all of this somehow fixes the issue. Today, somehow I did manage to get everyone’s drill to work, but now I’m looking at the rest of my week and wondering if the drill, and anything else from the toolbox, is going to give me the same problem.

So as you can imagine, when trying to use this toolbox and the main tool doesn’t work, and you have no idea why, nor any real good means to troubleshoot it, it becomes increasingly difficult to try and teach your students how to use it. When you have a fairly large class of students, and more than half of them are experiencing all similar issues, it’s really difficult to try and move the class forward and continue on with building the table. Everyone wants to learn and see how to build the table, but when the tools don’t work the way you want them to, or need them to, the difficulty increases exponentially.

To add fuel to the fire, some of the folks who came to the table building class don’t really know anything about the tools, the table, or even how to hold a drill. Nice people, but from what I can see, they are not the best folks for trying to learn how to build this table with this set of tools. Also add to the fact that after a couple of days of training where most of the class has half the table built, they’ve only drilled a couple of holes in one piece of wood. It concerns me greatly that these students may not get their table completed by the end of the training. In most cases, students who don’t wish to do the work, I really could care less about. That might sound a bit harsh, but the reality is that if you are paying to be in a class for a specific reason, and you choose to do other things other than what you’re being trained on, I’m not going to give you much sympathy about “not understanding” anything. However, these specific students are new to the world of table building and need to learn how. I am eager to teach, but not eager to overuse my time on things they should be paying attention to.

With the toolbox not working as it is supposed to, and some of the students drifting off doing wood sculptures instead of building tables, it made my day today quite miserable. I came home, I hung out with the kids and the wife, and at one point I could feel the stress throughout my whole body. My hands were shaking and I was just SO pissed about my day. I asked Tamara to put the kids to bed. I came into my office, and literally just read emails, chatting on gTalk a bit, downloaded some stuff, and then rejoined sanity inside. I think at that point I was fine. But then when I went to bed, I laid there wide awake thinking about tomorrow. To solve that, half a pill of Zopiclone and I’ll be out shortly. I can feel the effects now so this post will end shortly.

In summary, I had a mother-frakkin horrible day. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow but I also know that I only have two days left and this will be done. I’m going to get up tomorrow, start a new day, and convince myself that it will be FAR better than today (since this was the worst in 6 years I think) and MAKE my day better.

Oh, and as I guess I should add this is that for 1) I didn’t actually have a toolbox and drill issues. It’s a metaphor. and 2) The above post reflects my own personal opinion of my rather crappy day and situation and in no way implies a view or opinion of my employer.

Now that this is all done, I can go to bed.

I have several blog/websites that I run that are all powered by WordPress. Specifically, I have Bobsroom, Dylan’s House, Megan’s World, Moncton’s Race For Cache, and Magestik Cottage Rentals. That’s five completely different sites all with their own installation and setup. They each need to be maintained in their own way and when updates are necessary, it’s a pain doing it for all of them.

Today I tinkered with using the Network/Multi-site options for WordPress. They let you combine multiple sites into a single installation which has a “network” of sites. You only have to maintain one installation and updates are applied against all of your sites at once.

I played around this morning and moved all five of my sites to a new installation. It seems to be working quite well.

This has made me feel a bit better as it certainly helps to reduce some of the headaches I have had in the past. Hopefully, I won’t see any issues. Now all I need to do is write more

I moved to Moncton in the summer of 1985 just before started grade 7. I was also very small for my age. At 3’11″, I was a very small kid. When my mom went to register me for school that year, the secretary actually thought I was being registered for first grade. When I walked into my home room, the teacher told me that I had the wrong class and that the first grade classes were downstairs. It was very clear that I was a bit small for my age.

The next couple of years proved to be some of the hardest “growing pains” I ever went through. For starters, my first year at Queen Elizabeth school proved to be a bit of a challenge. A lot of name calling, being made fun of, stuffed in garbage cans, hung inside lockers, pushed around, and generally treated like shit. I shied away from anything having to do with the people from school. In fact, the only friends I did have at that time were several years younger than me.

There were a few exceptions to that. Tony Bishop, a guy I became good friends with (whom my mom would always refer to as the potato guy since he ate 13 of them when he came with me to the cottage one weekend) since he was on the opposite side of the spectrum (he was something like 6 feet tall in my class), Chris Bhagan, Mike Mollins, and a few others were folks I hung out with. But junior high was pretty brutal. Grade 8 was probably the single worst year of my life. That was the year that “bullying” took on a whole new meaning.

It seemed that despite having been at the school for a year, the bullying got worse in grade 8. It actually all came down to one person: Steven Rooney

A friend of mine had come over to the house to show off his b-b gun. Steven was a local bully/punk and spotted my friend at the house. He came over and insisted that he be allowed to try the gun. He shot it at the Irving across the street at hit a guy’s bike. I don’t recall exactly what happened next but Steve got into trouble for it and blamed me. That then started the terror. I can’t count how many times I got beat up by him. I was so scared to leave the house or go to school because I didn’t want to get beaten up. I wouldn’t even go to the pool down the street because I was so scared of being beaten up.

At one point, I had decided to start carrying a steel whip I had found because I was scared of being beaten up and wanted something to defend myself. One day, biking home, I spotted a group of kids playing on my street. As I got closer, I realized who it was and tried to turn around. I remember quite clearly a kid named Brian Herman who grabbed my bike and wouldn’t let me go because he was trying to keep me around for Steven to talk to.

It ultimately came to Steven bullying me some more while the other kids laughed. He hit me a couple of times and as much as I had been taught to not hit or fight, I got mad, pulled out the steel whip, and hit him with it. This of course did nothing more than piss him off, and led to my having been beaten severely. He grabbed me, threw me to the ground and bashed my head against the side of the curb repeatedly. I screamed, put my hands to my head, and ran home as fast as I could. Blood poured down my face and rocks were embedded into my skin from having been beaten so hard. I got home and my mom took one look at me and got pretty pissed. I didn’t see what happened when she left the house, but all I know is she came back to the house still pissed, and she was going to try and find out where Steven lived.

The end result was Steven’s parents being shown first hand (within the hour) what their son had done to me and the very next day, Steven was as friendly as could be, and the bullying stopped. I never had an issue with him again. That did not however stop the permanent damage that happened to me that day, and through all of the other bullying I experienced during those years.

There were a few very important things that helped me get through grade 8. For starters, I did have friends who knew me and didn’t treat me like crap. I had a mom who loved me so much that she actually took on that bully herself, and won. She always told me that things will get better and to just try and find a way to work through it. I also found my first love in grade 8 so regardless of how many times I got beat up, I always had that to look forward to at school.

The following year wasn’t so bad. I got beaten up once by a guy named Paul Howe who got mad at me because I kept playing a video game at the arcade. When my classmates found out what he had done, many of the boys (thanks Jason, Vinnie, and Kerry) asked me if I wanted them to beat the crap out of him. I thanked them for the offer but declined because that wasn’t the type of person I was. As I recall, that was the last time I ever got bullied.

I’m 37 years old now and am happily married and have done pretty good for myself, but the sting of bullying lives with me to this day. As an adult, when someone cracks a joke at my expense at one of my eccentricities (we all have them), I can take it in good stride and know that it’s not meant to be harmful. But, every time it happens, I have to remind myself that it isn’t to be taken seriously. That it is just a joke. If I’m called a name “just in fun”, I know that it’s just camaraderie and not malicious, but there is still this tiny part of me that is stung each time it happens because it reminds me of what I endured as a kid. As an adult, I can deal with it and realize that it’s not the same, but it doesn’t change how bullying has affected me.

When I read about kids who take their own lives, or bring guns to school because of bullying, I have a very unique understanding of how they feel. They just want the bullying to stop. For some, that despair turns to anger and hence the reason why kids get shot. Look at me? I carried a steel chain. That could have easily been a gun given the right situation.

Today, I have no idea what happened to Steven Rooney or any of the other guys who had a hand in bullying me as a kid but I will never forget them and how they made me feel. It is a scar that lives with you forever and no matter how much time passes, it’s easy enough to remember what it made you feel like.

I can’t tell others what they should or should not do. I can tell you that for me, I simply turned to spending time at home, hanging out with the friends I did have, and talked to my mom (family) about the things that bothered me. I did a lot of writing in those days and I think in some ways that helped me get out some of the frustrations and feelings. But in the end, the truth is, you just have to find your own way to deal with it because eventually, it really does get better.

For me, it did. When I hit high school, I met new people and my life took a different direction. For others who experience it in high school, try something new. Find an outlet, a safe one, that let’s you channel the feelings you have, and don’t be afraid to tell people what’s happening. Bullying was a lot more “acceptable” when I was younger. Today there is a lot more awareness about it (even though it is still a serious problem) and all it takes is sharing it with the right people, and all of a sudden you’ve got a ton of people to support you and magically, the bullies disappear. So whether it’s talking to your friends or family, writing a story or a blog, playing sports, or having your mom kick a bully’s ass (ok, that last one is probably not such a good idea these days), find a way to let your anger and frustration out and just be patient. At some point or another, it really does get better.

I would however add one more thing… People can say “it gets better” all they want, but it doesn’t change how you feel right now. If right now you are being bullied, it’s kind of hard to think about how things will magically be better in a few years. You want to feel better now. So right now, in that moment of sadness, go talk to someone. Whether it’s IRL or online, get it OUT of your system NOW! Do not hold it in. If you can’t find someone, then write it out, or record a video of you talking to yourself and post it on Youtube or Facebook. Do something to get that sadness out and you will find that in no time flat, you won’t feel that sadness anymore. I wrote, talked to friends and family, and just acted plain silly when I could, and somehow, all of that together helped me make it through to the next day, and then next. You can too.

- MK

Four years old for me is a bit of a milestone even though I know next year with him going to school, it will be even bigger. The reason I see four as a milestone is that four years old is the youngest I can actually remember being. I actually can remember being that age and playing with friends, living on 111Ave in Edmonton, going to the park, and heading off to school the following year.

Knowing that I can remember that far back, it puts things in a different light. Up until now, it’s been pretty easy to think that if something bad happens, or maybe I say or do something I’m not proud of with D, he won’t remember it because he’s so young. That phase has now officially passed. From this point on, I have to accept that memories made from here moving forward will now stick with him.

It’s not to say I do anything major or bad to my kids. I’m a good dad, but we all have days where our tempers are shorter and sometimes we snap, or we’re a little more grumpy than normal, and it’s that kind of stuff I don’t want the kids to focus on or remember. Thankfully, since these are few and far between, and the good stuff is FAR more abundant than anything not so good, so I think he’s in good hands to turn out well.

Next year at this time, he’ll have started school and it will indeed be an even larger milestone. Seems so far away but man, it certainly does go by fast.

Pulled from DylansHouse.com. Read the original post here

I’ve been pondering trying to get it listed on some of the eBook stores like iBooks and Kindle so I went ahead and tonite I got them formatted in the correct format, and sent them off to see what happens. As of right now, I have Gut Theory in the pending list for iBooks, Kindle, and Nook. I have an email out to Kobo about their stuff as well.

The eBook will sell for $5.99 which I thought was a nice lowball price since I am not interested in making big money but just wanted to try it out. I’ll have to wait and see how long it takes…

For two years old, this is a girl who is not afraid of anything, and is VERY devilish. You can see it in her face and by some of the things she’s doing.

She’s got a bit of a crush on Buzz Lightyear and now has one that she likes to take to bed with her. I hope I never wake up finding buzz between her legs.

She’s become MUCH more vocal and vibrant than before but much like her mom, she’s emotional. In fact, I can just say one little thing to her and she starts crying. It’s frustrating at times but I have to keep reminding myself that she is 2 and that she is a girl and that she is just like her mom.

Like her brother, she’s smart. She knows how to do a lot more things than I ever expected. She also has a tendency to pretty much do anything Dylan does. If she thinks what he is doing is fun or will get attention, she does it. I never realized how much siblings do this. Do you folks out there have the same thing happen with your kids? I had no brothers and sisters growing up so it’s a new world for me.

Her hair is getting long. Long enough that she’s always got it in a ponytail or pigtails now otherwise it kind of gets in her face and bugs her. She is however quite a little cutie. I love her to bits!

Pulled from MegansWorld.ca. Read the original post here

A few things of note with Dylan these days. He’s definitely the mellower of the two kids. He’s been a bit shy about being around certain strangers but he does eventually warm up to them. By strangers I mean people he hasn’t met before that I know (like friends of mine or Tamara’s).

He’s definitely not the most “tough” kid in the world. In fact, I think he’s more like me in that he’s kind of wimpy. It makes me a bit worried because I know where that got me when I was young but the reality is, I can only teach him to be the best he can and go from there. I know he will be fine.

He got stung by a wasp not long ago and now he’s a bit on a bug phobia thing. Kinda scared of getting stung but I have tried to explain to him that he just needs to be careful. Can’t say I blame him for being scared as bees and wasps freak me out too. Plus, he got stung by a wasp who ended up coming from a nest in Dylan’s castle that me and Tamara didn’t know was there. It is gone now, trust me.

Took him and Megan to Magic Mountain and they LOVE it. Haven’t had the chance to stay too long but we did buy season passes so we’ll be back as many times as we can during the year. They still love going to the beach. Dylan likes digging holes in the sand with me.

Took him to his first movie to see Cars 2 and although he loved it, I was not a fan of the movie’s content for a kid his age. It was James Bond in Cars format with guns and shooting and “killing”. Dylan ended up saying “I’m going to kill you” to one of his friends which we very quickly curbed and realized that it came from the movie. D didn’t know what he was saying so we made sure he knew that wasn’t something to be said. Definitely shows the influence of media on young kids. I’ll be more picky with the movies I take him to next time.

Lastly, he now likes to pretend he is Roscoe which is a robot from the Backyardigans. I don’t like the show but it is harmless and he loves it.

Pulled from DylansHouse.com. Read the original post here

Let’s see. Where to begin. I think I’ll just fire off some random crap and see where it lands.

Did my trip to GeoWoodstock back at the end of June. Had a great time. I was surprised that I actually enjoyed seeing downtown Washington, DC as much as I did. Lots of cool history stuff and although I don’t know much about American history, I do know a little bit so it was kind of cool to see some of these spots I’ve heard about and seen on TV. The mega event itself was VERY well done and definitely inspires me to try harder for events I put on.

Speaking of which, my race event made the weekend paper. I had sent a press release to the Times Transcript but 1) Didn’t expect to hear back from them and when I did 2) Didn’t expect to see an article in the same issue as the one covering the U2 concert. You can read the article here. Race stuff is going good but I will admit that until a few days ago, I was feeling a bit bored and uninterested in it. Since the last few days, I’ve been getting a bit more excited so I am anxious to get the event going.

Cottage stuff has been going well. We rented enough to cover our costs and have a bit left over. We might even be able to use it a bit this summer. We already stayed down once or twice already and we hope to do so more while I am on vacation during the two weeks after the race. We also want to go camping so I’ll see how it turns out.

My former step-sister Patti was here yesterday. Hadn’t seen her since Tiny’s funeral. She picked up some stuff Tamara had boxed away at my mom’s and we had a real good conversation. It was nice to talk to one of those girls that is actually sane. It was also nice to sort of clear the air on a few topics and get some feedback on a few things that have transpired. Regardless, it was nice to talk to her.

My grandmother was in and out of the hospital after having almost died. She was basically circling the drain and yet somehow she managed to pull back. She has however diminished considerably as she can no longer be left alone for very long, can no longer drive, and is basically reliant on my mom for everything. Oh ya, mom went through another round with breast cancer after having been free for 23 years. She came through fine without needing radiation or chemo so that was good. With her having to take care of her mom though, it’s tough. it’s actually a real mess of a situation and I wish there was more I could do. Unfortunately, some of what she’s in is her own fault and no matter what me or Tamara tell her, she’s gonna do what she wants to. Have to see how that plays out.

Work is better. We got bought, again. This time was different though. We got bought by a company that wanted our group and not something else. Things have actually improved vastly and it feels like the old Whitehill days again. I look to be on the right path to a possible career in training so I am excited about that. Definitely interested to see where that will lead.

I think that covers the basics. I have some kid stuff to report but I’m going to post that on their own blogs since I haven’t posted to them either in awhile. Until next time…

We were at the YMCA for Play Pals. They have the gym open and lots of toys and the kids play. They have one of those large inflatables that the kids crawl on. Dylan loves bouncing on it and climbing the ladder to go down the slide. It was the same thing we had gone to many times before. Both him and Megan were having a great time.

I was watching both but Megan was playing on a slide so I went over to the inflatable and peeked in. I saw another boy, bigger than Dylan, grab him, shove him into a corner, and he proceeded to punch Dylan in the chest and stomach over and over again. It wasn’t play fighting cuz I could hear the kids fists hitting my son.

I yelled “HEY!!!!” and tore around to the other side where I could get in to help Dylan who was now crying VERY hard. Another woman was in there already and had grabbed the kid and pulled him away as I got onto the platform. I grabbed Dylan. She wasn’t his mom but said she was going to go find his mom. Dylan was crying pretty hard and this other woman kept asking the kid who his mom was. He eventually pointed her out, and to my surprise, it was a YMCA staff member. Lovely.

Both myself and the other woman told the staff member that her son had been punching Dylan. She grabbed her kid, apologized to me saying “I don’t know what’s wrong with him the last few days” and then handed him off to what I assume was the kids father and told him to take him out of the gym. Dylan was still very upset and that feeling stuck with him for a good part of the day.

Let me tell you, my blood was BOILING when I saw those punches being thrown. I was SO mad. It took a great deal of restraint for me to not do something to that other kid because, and pardon me for being blunt, NOBODY fucks with my kids. I would still have been upset had I not seen it with my own eyes, but to actually witness it happening is a whole other story.

The instinct to protect your children definitely kicked in. Beyond anything else I have experienced as a dad, I can definitely say that I could feel that pure instinct of defense inside of me. It also made me feel a little sad because the reality is, you can’t protect them from everything.

The one thing I think that scares me more than anything is that when the kids start going to school, this kind of thing can happen more. I know because I went through it myself. I don’t want to think about the possibilities as I just have to trust that the kids are going to be fine, and that they are safe.

Until then, I keep an eye on them and I keep them safe. When they get into their first bar fight, they’re on their own.

Pulled from DylansHouse.com. Read the original post here

It’s been a rough week but today feels good. I got up this morning with the kids and have been in a pretty good mood. Tamara is gone for the weekend so it’s just me and the little ones. They’re busy watching Dora while I try to stay awake. At least they didn’t get up until 7 today.

Looking forward to today. It’s our big Lobsterfest weekend at the cottage. We usually do it on the long weekend in May but this year it’s a week early. We open the cottages up, get things ready for the new season, and enjoy some lobster and steak. I’m more of a steak guy and seeing as the breakfast steak I made this morning was crap, hopefully the thick BBQ one I bought for today will be better.

No news on grandma since Thursday other than one bit from Tamara which left her in tears. Poor grandma. She’s so confused. Although from what Tamara said, she seemed clearer in some respects when she saw her yesterday.

Taking it day at a time, and since today will be all about family, I’ll be sure to take it all in and enjoy it. After all, that’s what life is all about.